I’ll be honest guys, the word anxiety has been popping up a lot in the blogging/vlogging world over the last few years, there are a lot more people talking about it, BUT I never really understood the significance of anxiety and really how detrimental it can be to someone’s sanity and health. I am ashamed to admit that I didn’t really think it was that major an issue. Was I uneducated or what? This year has been the year where I really learnt the effects of anxiety and blogging anxiety so I thought I would do a post on it as I know I am not the only one experiencing it and I find blogging definitely contains triggers than cause anxiety and the feeling of being overwhelmed. I hope this post helps someone spot their triggers.
Agh, statistics. I became so obsessed with my blog stats and if I am honest I still am obsessed. My blog ‘broke’ last year and it genuinely took the fun away from blogging. I don’t even know why, when I first started in my first month I got about 300 views all month and I still loved creating new content. I guess it is because I wasn’t used to seeing an X average amount each day, meaning I didn’t get disappointed when the average amount dropped. Recently my blog has been performing the best it ever has, and guys when I saw my stats each day it genuinely affected my mood. In the last couple of days the views have dropped slightly, which triggered this post. I realised it was making me upset, causing me to feel stressed and demotivating me. It wasn’t even a significant drop! I am really going to try and not become too focused on statistics now because I realised just how dependant I have become on views and how anxious and overwhelmed I can feel when there is a negative change. I know from experience that is harder said than done, but try it. Calmer mind = better blogging content = more stats/followers.
Lack of time
This is a bit of a vicious circle for me, if I am really busy with life and I don’t get time to create new blogs and videos, I get really anxious, and anxiety makes me feel really tired and drained meaning I have even less time. I really feel like shaking myself, and saying why are you doing this to yourself? I don’t rely on my blog to pay the bills, I have a full time job to do that, but there is so crushing sense of ‘I need to get a post/video up’ and until I do, I feel restless and unhappy with myself. A part of it is down to I don’t want to lose momentum and I really want this year to be the year I dedicate a lot of time in building my blog/YouTube up, but I am starting to realise there is no fun in that if I am an exhausted unhappy wreck at the end of the year. Note to self: my blog/channel isn’t going anywhere. If I can build it up from nothing like I did when I first started, it will be easier the next time round.
New Products/PR Samples Guilt
Due to simply not getting round to taking pictures and making a video, I had Becca Champagne Pop highlighter sitting on top of my drawer for a MONTH before I used it. This is the highlighter I was dying for all of 2015 but just due to balancing so many things at once I just couldn’t find time to blog about it. I saw the product every day, and every day I felt anxious as I knew I wasn’t doing what I needed to do. I wonder if I am alone in that feeling.
PR samples, this is a bit of a sensitive one as I know many will think I should just be grateful to receive them and what is there to feel anxious about? And I am, I am so grateful, but I feel so guilty when I receive something and it has been days, at times weeks, before I can create a post on it. I get anxious I am letting down the lovely people who sent it to me, will I seem unprofessional to the PR company, am I ruining my relationship with the PR guys? It is stressful. I’ve spent so much time cultivating those relationships with brands, I feel so stressed out at times I will end up ruining them. I hardly go to PR events now, and yes this has impacted my relationship with some brands, as they may feel I am no longer interested so they stop keeping in contact. But I don’t want to go to an event, and get given some goodies and then disappoint them by not finding time to talk about the stuff, I’m not in it for the freebies. Nowadays, I am really trying to not take on too much responsibility and I try to be a bit more selective and I do find it has helped me a lot. I feel like now the brands I do work with, I have a better relationship with, as I don’t feel as swamped. I also made a little box, and I put all my new products in there, and when I am overwhelmed and busy with other things, I tuck the box away until I am free. I genuinely find that this is helping, maybe this is something you can do as well? Out of sight, out of mind and all that.
I feel like I can’t be the only blogger who does this, as it is so easy to compare yourself to others in most aspects of your life, why not blogging? I like to term myself as a confident, happy in her skin kinda gal, but I do compare myself to others when it comes to blogs. Whether it is the number of followers on a blog or social media, it is easily done. I’m starting to get photo envy and I want to change my entire room to make my pictures better, how ridiculous does that sound? Don’t get me started on social media, I feel like deleting my whole Instagram and starting from scratch so I have a ‘theme’ and my images are more white. I pride myself to be anti-jealousy, in my immature age of 16-17 I used to get jealous but I have learnt that everyone has something in their lives that other would be jealous of so it is better to have the ‘be happy for them’ attitude. But it is so easy to slip into the jealous, ‘why isn’t it happening for me’ mentality when you start comparing so I am putting this post out there as a physical reminder to not have that attitude. Comparisons will stop, and I will learn to be happy with my lot. Yes, I will learn and get inspired from other blogs but that’s where it starts and ends. No more comparing numbers as this only causes anxiety and stress. Even if you had a 1 million followers there will always be someone with 2 million.
I think I’ll stop there with my blogging anxiety post, as we’ve gone over the 1000 words now. The English graduate in me can just type away for hours! I would love to know if I am alone in these feelings and triggers or do you ever feel it. It doesn’t have to be about blogging, it could be studying, career or even relationships? Speak soon, Tanzina x