A Bengali Bride: Our First Meeting


Hi loves, if you missed my last Bengali Bride post, you may not know that I have decided to share a little more of my life with you and blog about my wedding process and what it is like being a Bengali bride. I’ve been wanting to share the details of what I’ve been up to the past year, and I am so excited that I finally have been able to collate all these snippets with you. Now if you are a little curious like me, make sure you read on and find out our first meeting.

A Bengali Bride

The process of a traditional-ish Bengali wedding is so different compared to a traditional western wedding. We have a lot of family involvement as family is the centre of all our values. So a wedding without heavy family involvement is almost unheard of. Almost all the decisions are made with the family from both sides, which can at times be overwhelming and at other times, great help. Today I wanted to show you snippets of ‘our first meeting’. Sounds a little bizarre right? You might be thinking does she mean their first date? But no, I’m talking about the first meeting where my family and my fiancé’s family meet for the first time and meet us for the first time. They discuss making the engagement official, get acquainted with each other’s families, eat food and exchange gifts. It can be quite nerve-wracking as it was the first time me and my now-fiancé met each other’s families. For X amount of years we only had to impress each other!

A Bengali Bride

Traditionally, the bride to be (me in this case) would dress in a saree or Asian outfit, with a scarf lightly over their heads as a sign of respect. You’d wear quite simple makeup, as the groom’s family should be seeing you looking like yourself. You could do what you like really, as it is just traditional and not a necessity but I decided to go all out with the traditions and wore a saree and simplified my makeup. I’ll tell you now, I felt like I looked horrible. Gone were my defined eyes, and defined cheek bones. My highlighter was most definitely not on fleek. I went very light with the makeup, and added some semi lashes (Eylure Fleur Loves – they’re amazing) for some subtle oomph to my lashes. I kept adding more red lipstick and reducing it as I didn’t want to go too bold. As a girl who can rock MAC Ruby Woo as a daily lipstick, the toned down red was painful! I didn’t even feel like taking selfie’s and didn’t feel my absolute best BUT as my family and friend’s assured me I looked nice, so I trusted their judgment (even if I disagreed).

A Bengali Bride
A Bengali Bride

Luckily my in-laws to be were very sweet and my fiancé’s nieces kept calling me pretty and telling me I looked like a princess, which did heaps for my confidence. Both myself and my fiancé were uncharacteristically shy and reserved in front of the families. I captured it all on a personal vlog so the memories last forever. He of course bounced back to his usual confident and jokey self once the elders left us alone to talk with my siblings and cousins. I too stopped feeling shy and returned to my usual talkative self. The day was a success, and it’ll always remain as one of my treasured memories.

A Bengali Bride

There is so much to say and cover, I don’t think I could do the concept of a Bengali bride justice, but I hope it has provided a little bit of insight into the wedding process. I feel like I left so much out but I’ll cover a few other things, like our engagement and details like my wedding dress in the coming weeks. I’ll also try to cover the emotions that come with the wedding planning, as it isn’t always how you imagine. I hope you liked the pictures! They’re so personal to me, I wasn’t going to share them initially but since I’ve been doing this for coming up to five years, it’s nice to share a little bit of me on here. One bit of advice to would be brides: capture everything. Take 100’s of pictures, film what you can, vlog if you’re able, and just capture every detail. Don’t just rely on your professional pictures. You’ll hopefully look back on it all with your grand children one day.

Let me know if you’d like me to continue the Bengali bride mini series, and if you have any questions pop them below and I’ll get back to you. You can ask any question you like, I won’t mind. My work colleagues find the whole process so fascinating, they can’t believe that was the first time we ever met each other’s families and it was so formal, so don’t worry if you’re equally as baffled! Speak soon, Tanzina x

p.s – you can find a sneak peek at my engagement here.

A Bengali Bride: How It All Started

Hi guys, today’s post is a little different and a lot more personal than I ever expected myself being on this blog. But it has been bugging me how I haven’t been blogging as much due to getting ready for my wedding, so I had a little light bulb moment and thought why don’t I blog about the things I’m going through and the processes of a Bengali wedding? So I thought I’d do a little Bengali Bride series, and just show little snippets of my wedding process for those interested.

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Warning: this process may sound really bizarre and not like the traditional western wedding process.

Okay so when I say ‘How it All Began’, you’d usually think that means boy met girl, fell in love, proposed and then got married. That’s not how it begins with a Bengali wedding. Depending on whether you have an arranged marriage (introduced to each other by a third party usually family), or love marriage (you found each other), you then decide whether marriage is on the cards. Myself and my fiancé were of the latter, and I think we discussed marriage in the first week. That might sound a little crazy, but it just made sense at the time.

I’ll skip the honeymoon stage and all the memories, it feels so weird speaking so openly about even this topic, I’m finding it hard to even discuss this let alone all the romance and lovey stages. Maybe one day I’ll speak about it all with you. But I wanted to talk more about my wedding process, what it’s like to be a Bengali bride and how it all began.

So once we knew we were ready, mentally and financially, to commit to a marriage we both approached our families separately, letting them know we were ready to settle down. Both families were so excited, my Dad was getting concerned at the age of 24, I was getting past my sell by date! Before the proposal, before the engagement, traditionally the groom’s family would approach the bride’s family asking for her hand in marriage for their son. By this point we had both swapped CV’s, a document listing our profession and education backgrounds, details of our families such as how many siblings, addresses in Bangladesh and much more. This is crucial in Bengali weddings, so both sides can see from the offset if the couples would be compatible. Both families swapped pictures of us, so I sent a couple of my pictures over and my fiancé did the same. You can see one of the pictures I used below.

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We are both fortunate to be coming from loving families, whose happiness lies in our happiness so we had their full support and blessing (Al-ḥamdu lillāh – praise to God*). Once everyone had agreed that they were happy with our union, that’s when it all began. This is going back about a year, but I remember when a few of the menfolk from my fiancé’s family came to mine for the first time, with the ‘marriage talk’, in essence asking for my hand. They wouldn’t meet me at this point (more on that in the next post) but I peeked through the upstairs window as I watched them come inside my house. They conversed with the menfolk of my family, and were treated to a mini feast my mum whipped up. I eavesdropped by the door to their conversations, and sent texts to my other half with 5 minute updates. Wouldn’t you?! Just look at the ‘mini’ spread my mum made, I made the cupcakes as always.

bengali food
bengali food
bengali food
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From then on, it started getting really real. It was out in the open, my fiancé’s name mentioned openly in my household, which I found so bizarre. Coming from a traditional Bengali family, we wouldn’t talk about things like relationships so it felt like a secret had been finally been told. I was very lucky to have the world’s most supportive parents, whose aim in life seemed to be to make sure I was happy. For some people in the Asian community, it isn’t as straightforward especially if their partner is of their own choosing but I would say nowadays the majority of parents have the same stance as mine. If my parents had not been happy, I wouldn’t have gone ahead with the wedding, I just know I would never feel happy if I went against them. I would have stayed single and tried my very best to change their mind, but I would gotten married without their blessing. Thankfully, it didn’t come to that. Phew!

* when something good happens in my life I tend to say Al-ḥamdu lillāh,
which pretty much means thanks to God. Since this is quite a personal post,
I thought I wouldn’t hold back my personality and would speak to you like I would to a friend *

And that is how it started, my journey to becoming a Bengali bride. Through a flurry of CV’s, swapped pictures, nervous moments and a lot of hope, I started the journey to the next chapter of my life. Fast forward almost 12 months, I am engaged and due to be married in under 70 days (cue hyperventilation). We have a lot of catching up to do, but slowly but surely I plan to bring you up to date with all the details. Keep your eyes peeled for the next segment : The First Meeting.

Tanzina x

Wish List Wednesday #2: Sunday Riley Skincare

Hi loves, if you read my first Wish List Wednesday post last week, I have decided to share with you a few special products that catch my attention every now and then. For the longest time now I have been eyeing up Sunday Riley Skincare, I’ve heard amazing things about their range and have been so intrigued to try it out. I am ‘sort of’ happy with the condition of my skin right now, but any improvement is always welcome. I am quite conscious that I have reached my mid 20’s now, I’m starting to take skin care a little more seriously as I know the investment now will pay off in later years.

sunday-riley

luna

So if I haven’t harped on about it enough yet, I am getting married this December (more on that coming soon, so keep an eye out!). As with any bride, I want to look my absolute best for my wedding, it will be the most memorable day of my life thus far. So I am thinking about investing in some Sunday Riley skin care, as it seems to work really well for 90% of people who have tried it. I have my eyes on their skin oils, two in fact. I have heard amazing things about Sunday Riley Luna Sleeping Night Oil, which helps reduce the sign of ageing as you sleep and also helps correct signs of skin damage and every day exposure. Everyone says positive things about this oil, despite what kind of skin type they have, and I feel like my dry skin would lap it up. I think it has retinols in it, which scares me slightly as my skin hasn’t been exposed to it but I know it works wonders on people so I am keen to give it a go. It isn’t cheap at £85 for 30ml but I feel like it may be worth it. You can pick it up here.

flora

The second item on my wish list from the Sunday Riley skincare range is another oil, it is the Sunday Riley Flora Hydroactive Cellular Face Oil. This is an oil which is supposed to boost the radiance in your face, which I really need. My skin like I mentioned is dry and it becomes lacklustre so a boost of radiance sounds heavenly. The product mentions that is quenches thirsty skin, which is a great way to describe my skin so it definitely has been on my radar for a while now. I’m not sure why I haven’t taken the plunge and bought it yet, as I am tempted to straight after I finish this post! It retails slightly cheaper at £70 for 30ml and I feel like it will last a while. I would personally use this in the morning. You can pick it up here.

water-cream

My third and final product is one I discovered quite recently actually. As I’ve heard so many good things about the oil I was wondering if they had any good moisturisers. So I did a little research and came across the Sunday Riley Tidal Brightening Enzyme Water Cream. The product contains Papaya enzymes which gently resurface the skin, eliminating dulling dead cells to reveal the more luminous skin underneath. How good does that sound? I’ve had really good experiences with gel creams, mainly Elemis Marine cream, so I have high hopes for this version. This cream is aimed at dry and dehydrated skin types which describes my skin perfectly. This retail for £60 for 50g, which would last me almost 3 months. Not cheap, but potentially life changing. You can pick it up here.

I hope you liked a second peek at my wish list, I think I might just pop over now to Cult Beauty and pick up some of the Sunday Riley skincare. Let me know if any of their products have been on your radar! I shall speak to you soon, Tanzina x

And ooh, if you haven’t seen my latest YouTube you can catch it below. It’s a haul video!

A Beauty Haul – Kylie Cosmetics, MAC, Cheap Brusher and more

Hi  guys, I’ve finally sat down in front of a camera and filmed a video for you. I really wanted to get a beauty haul out to you, as I have accumulated a few beauty products in the last few months. I am one of those people who doesn’t use products until they’ve been photographed or filmed so it means I end up of a pile of goodies that I haven’t touched for months! So today I’ve finally got a beauty haul to share with you that features some really special products and some amazing deals.

Beauty Haul

Here is a list of products I’ve picked up:

As I mentioned in the video, Makeup Savvy’s Ebay Guides are the bees knees, they are amazing. Make sure you check them out if you want to save money!

Beauty Haul

 You can watch the video here.

I hope you liked watching my beauty haul loves, I’ll be uploading a vlog next week so remember to subscribe so you don’t miss out on my little adventure with my fiancé! As always, if you have questions or requests just let me know. Speak soon! Tanzina x

Wish List Wednesday #1 : Sleek Cleopatra’s Kiss Highlighter

I have such a long wish list, it’s longer than my leg and arm combined. I thought I would share some of the things that have caught my attention recently, so that you can join me in the super long wish list gang. I’ll try to make Wish List Wednesday’s a reoccurring feature, hopefully it is one I manage to stick to!

Sleek Cleopatra's Kiss Highlighter

So I have spied a highlighting palette that I predict is going to always be sold out. When I saw it, I did a mini shriek as I know this is a palette I won’t feel super guilty about buying due to it’s price tag and it is going to be amazing. Let me introduce you to the Sleek Cleopatra’s Kiss. When I think Cleopatra, I think drama and I think gold. This palette could not be better named as it is just that.

Sleek’s first highlighting palette, Solstice, proved to be so popular that it was always sold out at most Superdrug stores I visited. Although it was definitely on my wish list, what stopped me from hunting it down was the pink tones in it, I need something more warm and gold for my skin tone. Sleek Cleopatra’s Kiss feels like it was made for me specifically, it is everything I want. It has gold tones, rose gold tones, powder AND cream highlight, and it is under £10. What more could a girl want. I’ll be picking up two of these, one for me and one for my makeup kit.

Sleek Cleopatra's Kiss Highlighter

This launches today, you can pick it up for £9.99 from Boots and Superdrug.    

Let me know if you have something special on your wish list, maybe I’ll make my list longer! I’m so excited for the launch of this Sleek Cleopatra’s Kiss highlighting palette and can’t wait to do a review on it for you guys. Speak soon, Tanzina x