Switching Up My Skin Care

Hi loves, I finally have gotten out my skin care rut, hurrah! I’ve been making do with the same skincare for years, and I think in the last 6 months I have started getting a little bit more experimental with my skincare. It all started a few months before my December wedding, I wanted radiant skin so I invested in some Sunday Riley skincare (which I have spoken about extensively here). Since I had such good results, I’ve decided to try a few more new products, so I thought I would share them with you all. This isn’t an in depth review kind of blog post, more like first impressions.

Switching Up My Skin Care

So the first couple of products I’m using for switching up my skin care are from Sunday Riley, a brand I’ve seen really good results from so it made sense to try more from the range.

Sunday Riley Skin Care

Sunday Riley CEO

Sunday Riley Juno Hydroactive Cellular Face Oil

The reason I wanted to try this despite loving Flora was a) Sunday Riley recommended this to me for my skin type and b) to see if the scent was more bearable in comparison to the Flora version. I am happy to report that it is, and also it is so nourishing on my skin. It really does help with the tight dry feeling and making my skin feel ‘fed’ again. I think I do prefer this to Flora, and seem to use less of it as it makes my skin feel nourished with even the smallest drop. You can pick this up [here] for £70.00.

Sunday Riley C.E.O (C+E antiOXIDANT Protect & Repair Moisturiser)

Where do I start with this beauty. Another recommendation, I had high hopes for this one as I had loved the Tidal Water Cream from the brand so much. This one blow Tidal out of the water (pardon the pun). It smells of oranges and smells beautiful. It is so rich and hydrating, I would go as far as to say it is the best face cream I have used so far. I cannot get enough. It just banishes my dry patches and makes my skin feel so good. Definite repurchase. You can pick this up [here] for £60.00.

Sunday Riley Blue Moon Tranquility Cleansing Balm

This was a gift from my beautiful best friend Yasmin, and I have only just got around to using it as I was finishing up my Elemis Cleansing Balm. I am in two minds about this, firstly I love the scent. It is almost chocolate orange like, it is very bizarre but nice. I love the fact it has sugar crystals in it, which makes this exfoliating at the same time. I rarely exfoliate (slaps wrists) but this helps me out by doing some exfoliation. The thing that lets me down slightly is that it isn’t as oily as I would like it to be, instead it is quite dry which isn’t something I expected from a balm. I will keep using and report back. So far I really like it, but do I love it? I’m not sure. This can be picked up [here] for £46.00 – I think the price is not too bad.

I’ll be doing a more in depth review of the three Sunday Riley products so keep an eye out for that.

Elizabeth Arden Prevage City Smart SPF50 Hydrating Shield

I’ve actually been using this for a while, and I guess with SPF you can’t really tell if it is working. Initially what I could report on was that it was a lovely fluid, it went on smoothly and seemed to moisturise my skin in the morning. It also doesn’t give the skin the funny white cast that SPF’s can give and is probably my favourite SPF to wear. That is until I went to Barbados for my honeymoon. I used this religiously on my face, and didn’t really use much SPF anywhere else. Till today, my body is peeling everywhere except my face. Nothing on my face got burnt or damaged. How bloody amazing is this stuff! I will warn you, it definitely is on the pricey side but once I run out, I might have to grudgingly part with my money to replenish this. It is that good! You can pick it up [here] for £55.00

Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Miracle Hydrating Mist

This was another god send for me whilst I was on holiday, it is the perfect face mist. It’s a very soft spray, so that firstly is a win in my books as I often avoid sprays as they are too hard and I am too scared they will ruin my makeup. The air conditioning would make my skin feel a lot dryer, so a couple of spritz of this made my skin much happier. I am now using this after using a face mask, or a cleanse, just because it feels so refreshing on the skin. The size isn’t too huge, I think I will carry it with me throughout the summer for days when I need something to make me feel refreshed. You can pick this up [here] for £21.00

Crabtree & Evelyn La Source Overnight Hand Therapy

Crabtree & Evelyn La Source Overnight Hand Therapy

I am not a huge hand cream user and really I should be as I always get dry hands. However I find the task tedious and if I am honest I just forget! Having this overnight treatment means that I can add it into my night time skin care routine which equals super soft hands every morning. I was so suprised the first time I used it, my hands felt so soft and moisturised, I kept admiring them all day. This is perfect if you are someone like me who always forgets to moisturise their hands as it is so intense. P.S you should look after your hands as they are one of the most used parts of your body. You can pick it up [here] for £19.00.

Liz Earle Superskin Dry Oil

I wasn’t really sure what to make of this oil when I first got it, it smells quite strong as it has natural seed oil so I was a bit unsure about trying it. I used it here and there after I had a shower simply because it is so easy to use, you just spritz it on and rub it down. However after coming back from holiday, and being so sun burnt with dry parched skin, this has been a life saver. It truly makes a difference to my skin I find, especially in helping the damaged skin get better. I’m half way through the bottle already! You can pick this up [here] for £35.00.

I’m so glad that I am stopping being so boring, and trialing out new products. It is working to my benefit as I am falling in love with new products too. I’m excited to switch up my eye cream soon, and make try a new makeup remover, so I will keep you updated if that happens. Oh, I also need to try acids for my face! I hope you liked today’s post, do let me know if you have any recommendations. 

I’m feeling much better.

Hi loves, welcome back to my blog. I write to you today feeling a lot more like my old self, better and happier. I thought I would come on here and update you, as the concern and care I have received from some of you has been overwhelming.

I feel like I accidentally stumbled across a topic, which is often not spoken about in the Asian community. Adjusting to change after marriage and adjusting to the realities of your new life isn’t easy. If one thing is guaranteed, you will struggle at one point or another regardless of what your situation is. You can end up feeling isolated, as it is hard to express that you are unhappy without coming across ungrateful or even stuck up/arrogant. What was shocking for me, was the amount of people who reached out and said they felt exactly the same. I have had girls reach out who got married after me, and others who have been married for 15 years who said my words have reminded them of their early days as a new bride. The messages just kept coming in, and every message just made me feel better. It made me feel like okay, there isn’t something wrong with me, my relationship or my new life. I am just struggling with my adjustment, like every girl before me and after me.

Some people are stronger than others, that is simply how we are made. Some can handle the changes in their lives better and others can fall apart faced with the same changes. I’m not sure how it happened, but over the past couple of years I have become a lot more conscious of my building anxiety. I went through a period last year, where it was so bad, I thought I had heart problems and even had an ECG at the doctors as my heart rate was elevating. It was just the stress of everything mounting, but I wasn’t aware it was anxiety. I didn’t understand why I felt so exhausted and drained. Once I had spoken to the doctor, it became apparent that I was describing the symptoms of anxiety. I didn’t take it any further, as I knew I could handle it now I knew what the issue was. Armed with that knowledge, I am quite quick on realising when I am feeling anxious, but realising and doing something about it is different.

Last week was hard, I’ll be quite frank, it was that time of the month, and I definitely am someone who mood swings when it is that particular time. I usually feel down, emotional, upset and sometimes for reasons I can’t even explaining. It’s quite hard on your partner when you feel that way, as you can’t explain it nor can they help as they don’t know what the issue is. That made my situation feel a lot more worse as I was feeling depressed.

For me it eventually helped talking my feelings through with my husband. It wasn’t easy, we were butting heads, misunderstanding each other and taking comments far too seriously. But talking your feelings through really helps, because at the end of the day you both want the same goal, it’s just a case of figuring out how to each do your part to get there. I have amazing parents, they have this ability to wave a magic wand and fix things, and have ways of explaining my feelings a lot better than I could – without the anger and tantrum tendencies that I always end up having. That helped a lot.

I’m out of my down period I feel, and I’m feeling a lot lighter. I am going to try and spend a few days with my family, because I feel missing them doesn’t help the situation. I know there are a lot of girls who feel the exact same way I do, so I wanted to write this to help you. This feeling won’t just go away forever, actually I bet I’ll feel like this again soon, but hopefully not as strongly next time. It’s just a guarantee, you are faced with changes, you’ve left your home of 25 years in my case, you have new surroundings and people to get used to. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t struggle with some of it, even just the feeling of home sickness.

I found talking helps, just approach it with a calm head, try explain your feelings lovingly without complaining too much as that can isolate your partner. Try spend more time with your partner, watch a movie together or just nap together. Quality time together always always makes me feel better, it reminds you why you left everything behind and also why it was worth it. Speak to your family, go see them if you can, as that will no doubt help. Your mum has most likely gone through this, and if your parents are migrants like mine, their situation was most likely much harder, they had to leave their home and move to another country – that makes you feel grateful for how good you have it. Most importantly, like almost every girl advised me, turn to Allah. Read books that teach you about patience and Islam. This is probably the part of my advice that I need to practise the most, because I promise you, my anxiety always fades when I pray.

To my readers of a non Asian background, thank you for putting up with the last three posts, I know a lot of it doesn’t make sense and it might be confusing. I have a lot of readers who are Asian and Muslim, and reading about what they go through, I thought I’d write these posts as they might help them. It will be business as usual with my next blog post, all about skin care. Thanks for sticking with me.

Hope my posts have helped, even one person. Thank you for all the love, the care, the concern and the prayers you guys have sent my way. I truly believe they helped me a lot. Thanks for making me feel like I’m not alone, I am one of many, and please know you can always reach out to me whenever. Speak soon, Tanzina x

Today I’m struggling

Today was one of those magical days, something happened that just made this unforgettable and one I will cherish forever. But then the rest of the day turned into one of the worst days I’ve had in a long while. This post is going to be vague, because it’s so hard to open up publicly and say hey, I’m struggling. But I am.

I think what spurred me to write this post, was the reception I got to the post I published this morning, my previous post. You guys sent me messages and what you were going through or went through in your life and it made me feel like I’m not alone. I’m not a bad person to feel this way. I’m not a bad person for not being able to adapt just like that.

Today I feel alone. Isn’t it crazy, how we can be surrounded by so many people but feel like the loneliest person alive. Today I am really struggling. The thing about leaving your home is you leave it’s comfort too. When something goes wrong, as it always does in life, at home I could almost feel the warmth and love radiating from the walls in the house. Being surrounded by family meant I was surrounding myself with unconditional love.  Here, although there is love, it’s never the same. I am essentially the stranger, no one will be able to see pain in my face by just glancing at it. It’s crazy how when I call my Mum, I just say hello and she says what is wrong. Today’s been a hard day, so I’m not calling her because she will hear it in my voice. There is no point in even trying to pretend because her voice will make me break down in a matter of milliseconds.

I know it’s frustrating for you to read and not know what is wrong. Maybe you think you can provide some comfort, and if that thought crossed your mind just know you are in my prayers. But it’s not easy opening up so publicly and I doubt I ever will. But I will admit that I do suffer from anxiety and I’ve been noticing it more and more in the last year. Somedays do feel darker than others and today is definitely one of them. I feel like a boat lost at sea with no idea which directions to turn to find shore. That’s how I feel here today.

I feel like loneliness is one of the hardest emotions to bear. As a Bengali girl, or any girl who has left her family and loved ones to be with the person she loves, if there is any strain, any upset in the thing you gave up everything for, there is nothing but loneliness. Your one lighthouse, guiding you to the shore, has gone dim. That I think is one of the hardest things to bear, even if it is temporary and just a blip. It makes my entire world feel dark.

I’ve rambled guys, and I don’t even know if I made any sense or it has been all been one of the vaguest posts I’ve written. But I wanted to come on here and just say that every single person faces their own trials and tribulations, and there aren’t many, if any, people I know that are able to smile every day. I am just grateful to some news that was delivered to me this morning that made today a good day, despite the torment I am feeling right now.

I’m going to sign off now and head to bed. Typing this out lightened my heart by a 100th of an ounce. Today feels like one of those days I will never recover from but I know I will. I’m not sure if I will publish this, but if I do, it is for people who feel like they’re alone when it comes to thoughts like these. You really aren’t alone.

Why I haven’t been blogging lately.

It’s been a while since I blogged. It’s been over a month. I was going to get straight back into it with a skincare post but I thought I’d speak to you. Sometimes in the world of beauty and glitter and pretty new products, real thoughts get lost so I thought I would share some of mine. Firstly, I’ve had a week away on my honeymoon – that was amazing and we created the best memories. But I can’t explain away the other three weeks and counting. 

Being married is amazing, I married my best friend and we are happy. (Allahumma barik lahum wa barik `alaihim (O Allah, bless them and bestow blessings upon them).’ But it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is such a HUGE life change for someone in my position, an Asian Bengali girl, who has lived pretty much with family all her life. If you don’t count the three years I lived in London for University. It has been hard adapting to a larger family, it has been hard learning to live with children, it has been hard not being the child in the house anymore but one of the ‘grown ups’. Gone are the days where Mum would cook my favourite dishes, have rice always ready and the most housework I had to was washing my plate after eating, sometimes. I know some of you might be reading this and thinking poor diddums, but it is right to say I lived in a cocoon, a bubble of sort. And now reality has finally kicked in, and it has been hard adjusting.

I’m okay looking after myself, heck I’m pretty good at it after three years experiencing living alone. That’s not the thing that is hard to adjust to, I enjoy looking after my own space, I’m really enjoying laundry duties and weirdly, getting our ensuite bathroom sparkling. It’s such a pleasure seeing my husband enjoy the food I cooked and I am lucky in many ways. I know a lot of girls in my culture have it harder, I speak to some of you on my DM’s on Instagram and I do count my blessings as well as keep you all in my prayers. But it doesn’t mean the adjustment isn’t hard.

I come from a family of 6, and with my youngest sibling being 13 I’m used to silence in the house. Now living in a house with 4 children under 10 (!)  it’s a rarity. I miss the silence, sometimes I stay up on weekends till like 3AM just enjoying the silence. I miss enjoying my own company, living with a large family I feel guilty when I just want to lock myself away and enjoy being alone. Those were the moments I enjoyed blogging the most. But even when I am locked away in my room, I feel guilty and on edge, someone’s going to call me, someone’s going to tell me to come down. Or they’re going to think bad of me. I can’t even enjoy the time alone. It’s anxiety.

I don’t have it hard, I really don’t. I am fortunate I have a good mother-in-law, that makes a big difference. But nothing is as good as being at home is it, and recently that has really been getting me down. It’s quite telling that I am typing this to you on my parents sofa, the only noise is the fan heater whirring, and the occasional comfort noise of my Mum doing something in the kitchen. I feel at peace.

The truth is, I sometimes get high levels of anxiety. I don’t know why, but sometimes I just feel this unsettling feeling in my stomach, and my heart rate is higher (my Fitbit thinks I’m exercising) and I feel so overwhelmed by these changes that it genuinely makes me exhausted. Again I want to stress, so so many have it harder than me. I don’t think my life is bad or I am subjected to the harsh side of Asian marriage culture but it’s just hard nevertheless. You know the days when you are exhausted from work, and as you drive home you tell yourself okay I’m going to nap the second I get home. And you get home to guests and have to entertain as you are the daughter in law of the house. It’s the little things, and it has been building and building.

If you are of western/English background, you probably are thinking what is this girl talking about. Let me quickly brief you, Asian/Bengali girls usually live with family after marriage and have lots of roles and responsibilities. Any other questions I can answer in the comments or over on Instagram/Twitter (@makeupatoz).

Anyway, going back to why I haven’t been blogging lately. It’s just been getting on top of me. I feel anxious, and I feel exhausted. Recently I just made myself stop, I kind of fell of the grid and tried to just relax. It helped, kind of, and then I felt down because blogging is something I enjoyed. It made me happy, I can’t even explain it. I guess it felt like a vicious circle, I’d get anxious, stop blogging, get depressed about not blogging, start blogging, get anxious my free time is being eaten up.

It is just an adjustment. I was able to cope with it for months, pretty well actually. And this too will pass, and I will adjust again. Maybe with Ramadhan coming, I’ll feel better after praying more. In fact I know it will help, it always does. I hope it does, as this will be my first ever Ramadhan away from my parent’s house with lots of added duties and added people. See, that’s my anxiety speaking. And I’m going to try to blog/use IG more. It truly is an outlet. Please do say hi to me, and interact on social media. It helps make a gloomy day brighter.

And guys, don’t feel sorry for me. I have it easy compared to most. I am so close to my family, I can pop over whenever I want, and my family are amazing. They’re just special. I also have a great circle of friends who I can rant at for hours. My husband isn’t too bad either, the little things he does for me I appreciate so much. So I could have it much worse. Maybe it is the fact that I’ve had it easy, and it’s just hard leaving that behind. Plus I haven’t stayed at my house for a while, so I am really missing being home. But there hasn’t been a single thing I haven’t been able to achieve when I put my mind to it, so I’ll add finding a level of peace to that list.

I hope that kind of explains why I haven’t been blogging lately, sorry if it doesn’t! But it was good to have a little ramble and just be open and honest with you guys. Leave me your comments and be sure to give this a like on Bloglovin’. Hopefully, we will speak again soon. Tanzina x

Essie Spring 2017 Collection

Morning loves, today I wanted to quickly share with you a little nail collection that recently landed on my doorstep. If you’ve been following me for the past few years, you might know that Essie nail polishes are actually one of my favourite formulas, from when I first discovered Mint Candy Apple way back when. Today I’ve got some polishes from the Essie Spring 2017 collection to share with you today, so let us get on to this beauty of a collection.

The collection consists of 6 pretty bottles, and today I have 4 of those to share with you. I will quickly talk through the shades that are in the collection, before I share with you the one that I like best. We have from left to right:

  • On the Roadie – a vibrant kelly green with avocado undertones.
  • Excuse Me, Sur – a gorgeous light pastel,  described as a sun kissed coral mango. This took me 3 coats to get opaque.
  • Backseat Besties – described as a delicate pink plumeria. I find this to be a gorgeous bubblegum pink with blue undertones. You have to be patient, this took me three coats to perfect.
  • B’aha Moment – an enlightening pink pomegranate. Looks like a bright pink with blue undertones.
  • Designated DJ – a plum sangria crème, for me it is a deep berry purple.
  • All The Wave a sapphired indigo

So I have gotten hold of: On the Roadie, Excuse Me, Sur, Backseat Bestie and Designated DJ. I adore pinks so initially it was Backseat Bestie that jumped right out to me. However I’ve been wearing pinks quite a bit (Essie Chastity from the Retro Revival collection [review here]) so I decided to try Designated DJ first and just fell in love with it.

The shade itself is perfect for spring, just the right dash of colour to help you get away from the winter blues. I don’t have many purple shades, so this shade slotted into my collection perfectly. I would describe Designated DJ as a dark, deep berry shade, a true burgundy plum tone. It has a creme finish which I really like, and becomes opaque easily with two thin coats. I like how it dries down with a high shine, I didn’t use a top coat so you could sort of see for yourself. I would say Essie formulas are usually pretty good, you have some that are a little bit of a miss when it comes you opacity/lasting power but this is definitely not one of them.

I’m not really one for bright colours on my nails (other than pink) so the green seems a little scary to me. However 2017 should be the year for being brave and getting out of my comfort zone a bit, so don’t be surprised if you see green nails over on my Instagram [email protected] I actually really am digging the blue shade too (All The Wave), I wish I had gotten this in my package as it seems to Spring appropriate. I think it is definitely going to be one to pick up as I haven’t got anything like that in my collection either.

These retail for £7.99 and you can pick them up [here]. Currently, there is a buy one, get one half price deal on.

So that is it for the peek at the Essie Spring 2017 collection, let me know if there were any shades in particular that have caught your attention. Speak soon, Tanzina. Oh don’t forget to like my post on Bloglovin’ if you enjoyed it (: